Message Sending Failed
31 January 2005
I just loaded a 30-day 24/7 card this morning then placed my phone at a strategic spot (on top of the tv stand as this was where the Sun Signal was strong). I did some finishing touches on my plate due 9 AM. I heard a message alert then rushed to bathe. I quickly changed my clothes, grabbed my things for school, and drove away.
I was driving onto the first curb when I realized that I left my phone. I shrugged the idea of going back to get it thinking that I would just go back home after class.
Our class learned how to render glass materials using markers (Kurecolor brand). Some struggled but most of us enjoyed it. The class was dismissed so I ran (more of 'kandirit' due to ankle sprain) back to the parking lot then drove straight back home.
The spot where I left the phone was empty. Only a wedding give-away-, wind chime, was there. It seemed as if it was moved closer to the window. I looked around, over, under, between, beside ( whatever preposition!). No sign of a phone that fell down. I just assumed that Ian took it. I ate lunch (rice, laing, and dinuguan). Yum! I thought that I should bring some laing to my dad. Ian knocked on the door. My first question was that if he took my phone. He said no.
Everything that transpired after that put me into some sort of a bad dream sequence. Ian called my sun number. Someone answered saying that I was sleeping. FREAKY!!!
To cut this story short, some guy fancied getting my phone. Then, he stole it.
I despised the fact that something of great sentimental value (more than its monetary value) was taken from me without the chance to fight or resist. I was angry-- or should I say furious. Then, God's strength was perfected on me as I grew weaker and weaker. I came to the Lord in prayer.
God is in control.
exhaled by milbenski at 7:40 PM
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As told by the Sun, Moon, & Firefly
30 January 2005
I was about to sleep after a long day's work and as I painted the sky, I saw from afar silhouettes climbing the tallest and grandest mountain. I could only see them having a hard time conquering those huge boulders, steep hills, thorny bushes, and pesty insects. My involuntary slumber prevented me to catch what happened next.
***
My night shift started. My friends joined my nightly vigil as some gayfully animated the sky to give life to the sulky atmosphere. I browsed the fields and then the mountains. I saw two shadows. One was lying on the ground-- his stomach rose and fell so fast trying to catch his breath. The other was kneeling-- offering his hand. Then, shape-shifter Cumulus blocked my view.
***
My light was not enough to illuminate everything but myself. I enjoyed touring the darkness as it had always been highlighted by Luna. However, the lights slowly faded out as Cumulus filtered her glare. The shadows outlined two angels with broken wings... That was all I saw as the thinning air stopped me from ascending further.
***
"The story was not ours to tell," echoed the three witnesses, "but we certainly hoped they were able to fly again".
exhaled by milbenski at 2:27 AM
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UNAN
21 January 2005
Something I wrote in September. It does not showcase what I presently feel. I just feel like sharing the story. Enjoy!
ARAY! ARAY! Sikip naman ng yakap mo!
Hindi ako makahinga! Hayan... mabuti't
niluwagan mo nang kaunti... O, bakit???
Naku! Basa na naman ako... Tahan na... Lagi
ka na lang ganito tuwing naiiwan kang mag-
isa.
Kagabi sa sinehan, tinopak ka raw... Hindi mo
nakayanan ang tawanan at halakahakan ng
mga kaibigan mo... Nairita ka dahil masaya
sila... Samantalang ikaw ay uwing-uwi na...
Tama ba?
Gusto mo na akong yakapin nang mahigpit...
At basain ng iyong mga luha.
Sabi mo pa nga, pagod ka nang umarte... Hirap
ka nang palabasin na okay lang ang lahat...
Ang katotohanan, ganito ka... Parang basang-
sisiw... Pero sa kanila, isa kang agila...
Matayog ang lipad... Walang
makapagpapabagsak. Bilib sila sa iyo. Ikaw
lang ang hindi.
Hoy! Ano yang iniisip mo?!!! Tanga ka ba?!!!
Pag ginawa mo yan, ikaw ang talo!!!
Kinabahan ako dun ha... Sige na nga... Iiyak
mo lang yan. Okay lang umiyak...
Ako ba kausap mo? Ha? Ano?...
Nagdarasal ka pala... Tama yan!
May tao ata!!! Punasan mo na ang mga mata
mo... Tapos na ang panandaliang pahinga...
Simula na naman ang palabas.
Paalam... Hanggang sa muli mong pag-
iisa... Nandito lang ako... Handang
magpayakap... Handang maging pamunas ng mga
luha mo.
lab,
unan
p.s. palitan mo na sana ang punda ko
exhaled by milbenski at 2:31 PM
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Kaleidoscope
19 January 2005
I don't wanna be selfish.
But my desire to be purely unselfish is pure selfishness.
Remember: God provides.
********************************************
When you are walking His way,
you'll experience peace that radiates all out.
********************************************
It's hard to live by the world's standards and
it's harder to not compare my 'achievements'
with those of the others.
It's quite draining to battle comparing
but I know that the Spirit sustains.
********************************************
I'm reassured and definitely at peace.
********************************************
BIG SMILE!
********************************************
Scattered fragments all of which seemed no sense before
are now slowly forming beautifully into
rainbow promises.
This is my kaleidoscope world.
exhaled by milbenski at 9:17 AM
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Amnesia
04 January 2005
How do I live when I don't believe?
Cancer cells spreading all over me--
already on its terminal stage.
I repeatedly bang my head on the wall
to overpower the excruciating pain.
The wall crumbles in disgust--
refusing to be part of my stupidity.
I want to live but how do I believe?
exhaled by milbenski at 3:28 AM
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Juxtapose
01 January 2005
Outside. Loud stereos bang. The sky changes from black to red- to yellow- to blue and green. Fire crackers, continuously pop-- sounding like heavy raindrops in a stormy July.
A painful sarcasm.
Inside my room. Zero decibel. Pitch-black darkness. Dirty clothes everywhere. My sobbing duets with the symphony of kwitis, five star, crying cow, sinturon ni hudas, etc.
Green-eyed monster turns bitter.
Outside. Irritating noise. Smog filling the cold midnight. Bombs exploding. Machine gun recklessly being fired. Children moaning.
Inside my room. Soft chuckling. Confettis dropping.
Tradition
No polka dots. No twelve fruits. No bigas & barya shower. No pot clanking. Empty pockets. Closed doors and windows. No more 2005 luck? I stopped believing in 'luck'. In 'love'? Maybe soon.
Crap!
Cheers! Jesus cares.
exhaled by milbenski at 1:54 AM
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